is one of the most powerful pages you will ever read!
Every person believes certain "truths" about themselves! What is your "truth?"
is a universal truth...
here is a soul-searching question...
Reminder: Have you started your journal yet? (see How to start a journal)_
Great, let's begin...
What are negative self-scripts?
Negative self-scripts are the:
What is the outcome of believing in negative self-scripts?
Over-dependence on the approval of others: You have an inordinate need to receive positive reinforcement or approval for what you are, how you act, and what you do from others, with an inability to be self-rewarding.
Lack of self-esteem and low self-concept: You have an inability to believe in your own worth, inability to see any value in your own life, a poor self-image, and a lack of belief in your competency to succeed in life.
Immobilization: A rigid belief system immobilizes you from taking risks in life, prevents you from wanting to make a change, freezes your feelings into a negative pattern, and convinces you that your only role in life is to be victimized by those from whom you cannot escape.
Negativity: Your negative view of yourself leads you to see all of your world in a negative light. You begin to believe and act as a `"loser.'' You see nothing in a positive light and can't be convinced that there is a better option in life.
Pessimism: You no longer believe that you will succeed and are no longer willing to take an optimistic position as you look to your future. You can see only gloom and doom on the horizon.
Self-Pity: You begin to feel so sorry for yourself and how life has treated you that you become your best "pity party'' guest. You are so lost in your self-sorrow, regrets, remorse, sympathy, and pity that you refuse to be shaken or changed. You begin to believe that no one will notice you if they can't feel sorry for you too.
Cynicism: You take a "yes-but'' cynical look at every suggestion for change in your life. You begin to doubt in the sincerity, kindness, and love of others who are trying to help you. You create a barrier of cynicism to block them out, thus convincing yourself when they leave you that they really didn't care.
The "Guard-All Shield'': You create an invisible shield, tough for others to see or to penetrate. People will approach you and try to get involved, but you zap them with your shield and they back away or turn and run. The shield is so subtle that at times you don't even know it exists, and you get confused by people pulling away from you. This shield can take the form of coldness, wise cracking, fear of being hurt, aloofness, unwillingness to change or take a risk, fear of being taken advantage of, fear of intimacy, fear of failure, fear of hurting others, or any other feeling that keeps you from connecting emotionally with another person
Fulfillment of the Prophecy: Because negative self-scripts predict the worst, you at some subconscious level work to achieve the worst and succeed in fulfilling the negative prophecy of: failure, rejection, loss, disapproval, or any other catastrophe or malady. It is a pattern of being self-destructive with one's life.
Depression: Because of the anger, resentment, rage, hurt, disappointment, disillusionment, and suffering you experience from your negative self-scripting you are a ``good'' candidate for firm and long-lasting depression. Your emotions can become so stuck, rigid, and constricted that you can be embedded into a deep sense of melancholy, blue funk, and loss of hope. At this stage you are a candidate for mental health intervention before the depression reaches a despair level and you become even more self-destructive, possibly physically ill or suicidal.
What are self-affirmations?
What shapes can positive self-affirmations take?
"I'' statements are one-line statements that can be repeated to cover three areas:
I am: A statement of who you are
This is a positive affirmation of a real state of being that exists in you. You can achieve a full list of I am Y statements by taking a personal positive inventory of your attributes, strengths, talents, and competencies. Examples include:
I am competent - - - I am energetic
I am strong - - - I am enthusiastic
I am intelligent - - - I am relaxed
I am beautiful - - - I am joyful
I am a good person - - - I am trusting
I am caring - - - I am generous
I am loving - - - I am courageous
I am smart - - - I am forgiving
I am creative - - - I am open
I am talented - - - I am sharing
I can: A statement of your potential
This is a positive affirmation of your ability to accomplish goals. It is a statement of your belief in your power to grow, to change, and to help yourself. I can Y statements are developed after you develop a set of "short-term'' (three to six months) goals. Examples include:
I can lose weight - - - I can grow
I can stop smoking - - - I can heal
I can handle my children - - - I can let go of guilt
I can gain self-confidence - - - I can let go of fear
I can take risks - - - I can change
I can be a winner - - - I can be positive
I can be strong - - - I can be a problem solver
I can pass calculus - - - I can handle my own problems
I can laugh and have fun - - - I can be honest with my feelings
I can be assertive - - - I can let go of being compulsive
I can control my temper - - - I can succeed
I will: A statement of positive change in your life
This is a positive affirmation of a change you want to achieve. It is a positive statement of what you want to happen. It is a ``success prophecy.'' I will Y statements are developed after you have set your priorities for the short-term goals you have set. Examples include:
I will like myself better each day.
I will gain emotional strength each day.
I will lose weight each day.
I will smoke less each day.
I will control my temper today.
I will give others responsibility for their lives today.
I will grow emotionally stronger each day.
I will smile more at my customers today.
I will offer my comments in class today.
I will praise my children today.
I will feel good things about me today.
I will sleep easily tonight.
I will feel less guilt each day.
I will face my fears courageously today.
I will take on only what I can handle today.
I will take care of me today.
I will challenge myself to change today.
I will manage my time better today.
I will handle my finances wisely today.
I will take a risk to grow today.
I can Statements of Self-Belief
The daily use of these "I'' statements is another form of self-affirmation designed to counter negative self-concept. It can result in a positive attitude, optimism, and can motivate you toward emotional growth and progress. (is this not encouraging?)
Step 1: Take any single target word about who you are, your ability, or what you want to accomplish. Write it on a 3 x 5 card.
Step 2: Get yourself into a relaxed state, preferably just before you go to bed. Hold the card about 12" to 24" from your eyes. Focus your eyes on the word and concentrate your attention. Hold this thought for up to 20 or 30 minutes.
Step 3: Do this exercise nightly for at least two weeks. As you continue, you are burning the image of your goal word into your mind. It will be with you in your thoughts as you proceed in your everyday life.
Step 1: Create or find an image of an object, person, or thing that embodies your goal for who you are, what your abilities are, or what you want to accomplish:
a comfortable house a rainbow
a diploma a sunset
a cruise ship a calm ocean
a happy, healthy child a sunny day
a slim body a snow topped mountain
Step 2: Get yourself into a relaxed state and either look at the picture or imagine you reaching your goal. Do this for 20 minutes each night for one month.
Step 3: Get copies of your picture or a simulation of your goal, and tape them in places where you will see them as you go through your normal day.
Step 4: Continue to keep your images in place until you have accomplished the ``goal'' feelings of success and/or achieved the ``object'' success. The important thing is to believe that it is possible to achieve. This motivation is the most important step on your journey to success.
Step 1: Once you have a goal in mind for yourself, daydream a full color movie in your mind of what your life would be like if you achieved the goal.
Step 2: Get a tape recorder and talk out the whole movie on tape. Be fully descriptive, colorful, positive, and uplifting. Use your imagination to the fullest and describe how positively you will be handling the change resulting from your goal attainment. Describe how key "significant others'' in your life will cope successfully with your change. Save this tape for future reference.
Step 3: Write out a description of the goal attainment scenario, and keep it handy for future reference.
Step 4: When you are in a relaxed state, listen to the tape and read your description of the scenario every day for two weeks.
Step 5: Refer back to the tape and script as time goes on until you have reached full attainment of your goal.
Suggested places for affirmation cards:
mirror in bathroom dashboard of car
mirror on dresser desk at office
closet door desk at home
refrigerator door in your wallet
front door in your brief case
bedroom door in books you use at work or school
at your telephone
Affirmation word examples:
successful problem solver
Affirmation phrase examples:
think happy take it easy
be calm think wisely
take action work smart
do it take the time
do it now have fun
be a winner relax and enjoy
take a risk sit back
dare to be different step back
seize the opportunity take the lead
get in control give them space
let go believe in me
let them be trust in me
let it be enjoy good health
Affirmation statement examples:
I can be a winner.
I am the best friend I have.
I have solved problems like this before.
I have the ability to handle this.
I am a capable human being.
I deserve to love and to be loved.
I am a skillful and artistic person.
I can show others a good example.
Letting go is best for them and for me.
They will thank me in the future.
Nothing is worth losing my sanity over.
I am responsible only for my own feelings.
I owe no one explanations for my behavior, which is legally, morally, and ethically correct.
I deserve to have my rights recognized.
I am a deserving human being.
I deserve to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I deserve to be rewarded for what I do.
I love myself for who I am.
It is OK to be selfish if I don't hurt anyone.
I like the way I handle problems.
I am able to handle any problem I face.
I have the right to feel the way I do.
My children will benefit from my healthy changes.
My children will survive my healthy changes.
My family will benefit from my relaxing more.
I deserve to relax more and take it easy.
There are beautiful things happening in my life daily.
I experience the excitement of growth daily.
Change is a blessing I am working toward.
Taking risks is the path to growth.
I grow in love daily.
I face each new day as a race to be won.
I am winning in the race of life.
I am a rich treasure ready to be found.
Let others know who I am.
Say hello to a new person today.
Open up to be loved today.
Be responsible. Relax!
Letting go is loving
Be free of guilt today.
To be loved I must love.
God does not make junk.
There are opportunities in life to be tried.
My possibilities are endless.
Success is to be enjoyed.
Open myself up with one new person today.
Belief in self is a step toward personal growth.
I can handle all changes that come my way.
There is nothing I cannot handle.
Smile and let others in on the secret.
of the day exercise
To make this daily affirmation process grow, write out thirty different affirmations for each month of the year. Keep the 360 cards in a recipe box and continually use the collection year after year, adding new affirmations as you need them.
Another reminder: "The definition of insanity is, hoping for a different outcome whilst doing the same old things."
This is your personal opportunity to make a difference, to do the right thing and contribute to a better future for you and yours!
Enjoy and may the force be with you!